Email from my daughter

This is why I look so tired all the time.

Dear birth mother,

I’m sorry to disturb you today, I know you hate it when I interact with you but I simply must tell you that I’m running low on bandages. As I’m sure you have noticed, the school year has started and the teachers are administering their daily beatings at full throttle this year. This puts me in a terrible pickle as my current bandages are very worn out and the blood is starting to soak through. I wouldn’t normally ask for more, but I’m terribly worried about spotting the carpet. Thank you so very much for taking the time to read my request. I know you are a very good person deep down.

love,
your birth daughter